Friday, November 12, 2010

The World's Sexiest Music

For those of you that will try anything to improve your sex life, now there is a list of music that purportedly will help.  So now you should keep an iPod on the bedside table along with the vitamin supplements, the little blue pills with the big V on them, the tequila and the Victorias Secret catalogues.

BTW, the list was compiled by the Fox News Health department which appears to be staffed with some of those ditzy blondes who report “the news” on the cable channel.

FYI, other than this list of sexy songs, the other most read articles on Fox Health were:

1. Doctor Admits to Performing Wrong Surgery (he was supposed to be performing a  sex change but instead replaced the persons hip).
2. Erotica: Sexy Bedtime Stories (coming soon to Kitty’s show), 
3. 10 Ways to Become a Better Lover (one was “don’t get a hip replacement”).
4. Sex Toys at the Drive-Thru (“ I do not want fries with that and do not want to try the Frappe!”). 
5.  New Phone App Will Test for STD’s (unfortunately this does not work on AT&T’s network...but of course nothing does).

Since I always believe everything I read or watch from News Corp, the owners of Fox News, The Wall Street Journal and The National Star (latest headline read while in check out line at the Food Lion, “Jen says Angelina refuses to potty train her kids....Brad furious”),   I tried to download all the songs from Limewire.  I was unsuccessful...they said the service had been “cease and desisted”  by music industry lawyers, in advance of the whole music industry shutting down.  I suggest looking for the music at yard sales...8-track tapes are down to 10 cents in that market.

Meanwhile, Kitty was familiar with most of the music on the list and thought many were “buzz kill” with the exception of “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails and “On the Couch” by Prince.  I agree with her, but added that “Shining Star” by the Manhattans reminds me and some of my friends of liquored-up UNC sorority girls, which has some merit in this regard.

Here is the list: 
1. Dreamworld by Robin Thicke
2. When The World Ends by Dave Matthews.
3. Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover by Sophie B. Hawkins
4. Halo and Naughty Girl by Beyoncé
5. Woman Like A Man by Damien Rice
6. Possession by Sarah McLachlan
7. You Shook Me All Night Long by AC/DC
8. Just Say Yes and Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol
9. The Woman in Me by Donna Summer
10. On the Couch by Prince
11. Avalon and Slave to Love by Brian Ferry
12. Summer, Highland Falls by Billy Joel
13. I Love You by BareNakedLadies
14. Shining Star by The Manhattans
15. Every Woman in the World by Air Supply
16. Mozart's Symphony No. 2
17. Zoo York by Paul Oakenfeld
18. Closer by Nine Inch Nails
19. When it's Love from Van Halen
20. Feelin' Love by Paula Cole
21. Little Freak by Usher
22. I Want To by Nazzereth

Kitty, sensing an opportunity,  is working on a collection of sexy songs tentatively titled “Kitty’s House Rocking Love Tunes”, cleverly playing off the famous song, “If the house is rockin’...don’t come a knockin’.  Her love of music, entrepreneurial instinct and knowledge of the subject matter will no doubt have this collection on everyone’s bedside table very soon.

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