“Avatar” Renders This Earthly Life Meaningless

My mother refuses to go to science fiction movies...she thinks they are all silly. She hasn’t seen a single “Star Wars”, “Star Trek” or “I Dream of Jeannie” episode.  She did love “Mr. Ed” however, which was basically science fiction, what with a talking horse and such...but she didn’t agree.  

So when I saw Avatar I knew this was the science fiction movie to MAKE her go see.  I thought she would like the beauty of the planet and not be put off too much by the violence, since she has always loved John Wayne type shoot’em up westerns where entire native american villages would be destroyed and burned.  I was right...she liked it, but said she would never go see another one. (sci fi flick).  “Why Mom???”.  “It was just TOO much”. 

Anyway, the movie is breaking all sales records, and has lots of people talking, including my Mom.  Many are actually depressed by it. CNN reports that net forums are awash with dark musings on the impossibility of visiting the virtual planet, with those most deeply touched even pondering offing themselves if they can't book a ticket to a new life off-world.

It appears to have deeply affected some cinema goers who've found that life on Earth doesn't measure up to the prospect of living on utopian world Pandora.  I mean who doesn’t want to live in paradise, be twelve feet tall, and have no apparent problems with obesity, crime and mediocre late night TV? 

And then there is the crowd that just can’t believe that humans could be so mean to such lovely, peace loving aliens....on their own beautiful planet.  These people are real “Avatards”.  Obviously they have not paid any attention to human history and the awful things we have been doing to each other for eons. Why wouldn’t we do the same things to aliens?...cause jeez...they are just aliens and they have some stuff we need.

In the case of the movie, we kill and pillage the natives because they are sitting on top of huge “unobtainium” deposits, an extremely rare mineral which ironically in the future is needed to build 3-D UltraHighDef TV’s and touch screens for Apple iPads, which are as ubiquitous in the future as female hygiene products are now. (Curiously, there are male hygiene products as well, but they are not used in the same way).

Even though the film seems to focus on American’s plundering the planet Pandora, the parallels to other earth cultures past activities in this regard are not escaping the gaze of governments like China whose citizens remember being run off their land like it was yesterday. 

One guy in Taiwan actually died watching “Avatar” and the Chinese stopped the movie from being shown in many cities.  What really upset them was that people with the last name “Hu” were changing their names to “Toruk” by the millions.   It had swamped the Chinese People Name Processing Bureau, sort of their version of the US social security system.

I think the Chinese are worried that the twelve foot tall Nav’i dudes could replace Chinese players like Yao Ming in the NBA, who is merely seven foot six inches tall.  Ming, whose bones are made of calcium instead of carbon fiber could never stand up to a slam dunk from even a hybrid like Sulley, which would result in the millions that he sends to the Chinese government to be cut off.  

Off course if this happened the Chinese would stop buying US Treasuries and we would all be screwed.  Isn’t it interesting how interconnected it all is?....even here on Earth.

The Rich are Different Than the Rest of Us

New research shows that rich people cannot feel pain, don't care if they're liked.

What!?!  Before we go into this lets get some literary and historical context.

The famous author F. Scott Fitzgerald coined an enduring statement about the rich in his classic book, “The Rich Boy”.  “Let me tell you about the very rich. They are different from you and me. They possess and enjoy early, and it does something to them, makes them soft where we are hard, and cynical where we are trustful, in a way that, unless you were born rich, it is very difficult to understand. They think, deep in their hearts, that they are better than we are because we had to discover the compensations and refuges of life for ourselves. Even when they enter deep into our world or sink below us, they still think that they are better than we are. They are different.”

Some people disagreed with Fitzgerald including most famously, Earnest Hemmingway who said “Yes the rich are different. They have more money”. 

But now there is research that shows that Fitzgerald was right in some surprising ways.

Being rich makes people somewhat invulnerable to pain and steels them against rejection by other people, according to researchers in China and America.  In several different tests involving actually pain and rejection technics rich people were consistently more resistant to pain and were seemingly unfazed by rejection, insults or other indignations that would make the rest of us cry and beg for anti-depressants.

Jeez, some other research shows that rich people even live longer, up to a decade more than the rest of us.  No wonder ancient guys like Rupert Murdoch are still reeking havoc on society years after everyone else is retired or dead.  This means Bill Gates could still be doing Windows fifty years from now.  Yipes!  Obviously the reason for this is they can afford the best health care in the world.  How else did Steve Jobs get to go to the head of the liver line in Memphis? 

And you know how they say the rich just get richer?  They’ve proven that now as well.  The explanation for this is a little easier.  They are much smarter with money because they are better advised and they get greater access to money-making opportunities. Duh.

There is another key difference between us and the rich. Their yachts do it. Their limousines do it. Their jets do it. Even their air-conditioned mansions by the sea do it. The trappings of wealth tend to emit lots of climate-warming carbon dioxide. This is why in some parts of the world strategists suggest setting an international individual cap on the emissions that spur global warming.  (Al Gore, are you listening?  Oh yeah, you are just rich...not super rich)  Makes you a little queazy if you are scraping to afford a hybrid Prius or a solar panel to cut your carbon footprint.  

I think all of us have fantasized at least once about being really rich. Think the fancy cars, the big houses, the jets and boats.  Now you can add resistance to pain and emotional stress and a longer than normal life to the fantasy.  

So what is the downside of being rich?  I have a really rich friend who tells me that the downside to being rich is that you become more of a target to others who want to take away what you have. He says he has to spend time and money on security, and you have to be a bit cautious about new acquaintances. He always wonders if people want something from him or do they really like him? He says he is “on guard” a lot of the time.

At the end of the day...he seems to have a really good time.  I even saw him bleed...but I’ve never seen him cry.

The Aleve Generation

My body hurts...or at least used to before I started taking Aleve (Naproxin) twice a day at the suggestion of an orthopedic surgeon. Reason: I played football in high school, then switched to ski racing in college, and continued racing until I was 25, when I broke my back.  (And as they say in ski racing, “no one is ever fast again after a major injury...and its more psychological than physical”.) 

Leading up to my career ending back snap, I had an assortment of other injuries that included a broken thumb, pelvis, collarbone and shoulder, torn cartilage in knee and shoulder, major contusions all over and a couple of concussions. (which my wife says explains everything). While this may sound like a macho extreme, its pretty much the norm for these two sports and if you have a passion for a sport, you sort of deal with it....until you can’t.

By the time I was 30, my back, knee and shoulders hurt so much all the time I was just in a depressing perpetual state of misery...albeit one that I sort of got used to.  To get better,  I did the whole chiropractor thing, took Yoga, and tried all kinds of contraptions (including one where I hung upside down like a bat twice a day) all to no avail.  Then one day someone turned me on to Ibuprofen, and then Aleve and miracle upon miracle, I was (mostly) pain free.  Even better, these NSAIDs are non-narcotic (no buzz, no fuzz) and they really, really work. But wait!  There’s more!

Now we have a literal “Aleve Generation” comprised of creaky older folks pretending through the miracle of modern medicine that they are 20 years younger, and doing so without the use of narcotics.  I can’t imagine doing half the things for recreation that I do now without my beloved little blue pill. (Aleve’s MO)  An neither can the rest of the Aleve Gen.  In fact many young athletes use the drug as a pain “prophylactic” that supposedly increases their performance by masking the natural occurring discomfort associated with too much of anything.  Well, recent research says this is the WRONG thing to do.

Researchers have found that, in laboratory experiments on animal tissues, NSAIDs actually slowed the healing of injured muscles, tendons, ligament, and bones. According to the research “NSAIDs work by inhibiting the production of prostaglandins,”substances that are involved in pain and also in the creation of collagen.. Collagen is the building block of most tissues. So fewer prostaglandins mean less collagen, “which inhibits the healing of tissue and bone injuries including the micro-tears and other trauma to muscles and tissues that can occur after any strenuous workout or race”

The painkillers also blunt the body’s response to exercise at a deeper level. Normally, the stresses of exercise activate a particular molecular pathway that increases collagen, and leads, eventually, to creating denser bones and stronger tissues, so if you’re taking ibuprofen before every workout, you lessen this training response,.  Your bones don’t thicken and your tissues don’t strengthen as they should. They may be less able to withstand the next workout. In essence, the pills athletes take to reduce the chances that they’ll feel sore may increase the odds that they’ll wind up injured — and sore.

In short there is no indication or rationale for the current prophylactic use of NSAIDs by athletes, and such ritual use represents misuse.”  Damn...so what is a decrepit 50 year adrenaline junky to do?  I have always felt like there will be hell to pay for all these pharmaceuticals we take these days...in a way the question is whether you enjoy your life more today and maybe die a few years younger, or endure daily pain during a very long life.  

Not sure where I stand on that but Aleve and I are going surfing together this weekend to think about it.

13 Signs a Women is a Loser

The term “loser” is usually applied in regards to men, since they are so easy to spot. They are portrayed in the media as nerds, bums, lazy, slovenly and oafish. In most cases (but not all) the male “loser” doesn’t make much money, or love.

It’s somewhat harder to identify a female loser. A women’s sense of style (which can provide camouflage) and sort of a lack of societal expectations when it comes to women making money can create the conditions such that a man, loser or not loser, can inadvertently find themselves in the company of female loser. This proximity to a loser chick can create the risk that she might bind on to the unsuspecting guy (marriage) such that his life is essentially shot.

So if a girl looks good, smells good and seems to be fun loving, how can a man tell that she is really a loser in disguise? I found this handy list on the internet, and based on my own experiences, it seems both credible and useful as sort of a field guide to these terrifying creatures. These are the 13 signs to look for:

1. Dirty-flirty double standard: She flirts with dudes in front of you, shamelessly. Then, she gets super mad and makes a scene if you so much as give a cute waitress your order. This one is bad because it makes it almost impossible to enjoy yourself in public with her.

2. She needs to do everything with you: It's one thing to share experiences, but it's another thing to need someone to hold your hand all the time. When it goes beyond wanting to spending time together to demanding it constantly, you have to wonder, what's her problem? “Jeez honey, your hand is really getting sweaty...can I have mine back?”

3. Party pooper: She's mopey when you're not giving her 100 percent of your attention. When you start having fun, she wants to leave. “So what do you have against me having fun?”

4. Sex as a weapon: Putting out is the bartering chip she's been using since her school days, but it's a cheap ploy. A clever woman who respects herself doesn't have to abuse her sexual power. Most men are willing to play this game, at least for a while, but always comes back to haunt.

5. Baby, I'm yours: She wants to have kids so she can stop working and mooch off you. Now who's the child? This usually has a permanent weight gain as part of the deal as well.

6. High-maintenance mama: She's constantly complaining and barking orders. Everyone around her rolls their eyes at her demands. Why doesn't she get off her duff and do it herself? Divas are born...not made.

7. Friend indeed: She forces you to show off to her lady friends with grand displays of obedience, love, and virility. But she never wants to hang out with you and your best bros. Why is it she expects people to think she's impressive when she never does anything to impress them? Well, she’s bossing you around isn’t she?

8. Parent trap: She blames her life's problems on her parents, yet she depends on them, a lot. “Diddy is so mean to me sometimes....I wanted a white BMW and got me this crappy Volvo.”

9. Social climber: She's always looking for someone richer to kiss up to. When it comes to making new friends, she's a total snob. This is the Darwinian component of loser chicks.

10. Beauty is only skin deep: She thinks she should be famous, but she hasn't done anything to warrant admiration besides look pretty. In my opinion, the most dangerous loser chick trait to the average dude. Let’s face it guys, we are a sucker for a pretty face and/or a hot body but one must look beyond such shallow things. (At least try...)

11. Eau de desperation: She reeks of needing a man, and she will stop at nothing to bag one. When she's single, her female friends even feel like they have to hide their boyfriends for fear she will try to pounce.

12. One-way street: You're constantly doing things for her, but, as Janet Jackson would put it, "What have you done for me lately?" If she's going to act like a princess, why doesn't she treat you like the prince of a gentleman you are?

13. Go fish: She's always looking for compliments. You have to constantly reassure her that she's amazing, but her response always seems to say: "I know." I had a girl friend once that literally wanted fresh flowers every day and that was just the beginning of her daily need for reinforcement. There are only so many types of flowers at the Harris Teeter, and there are only so many credible compliments that be created, such that these girls eventually go looking for a new man with a different source of flowers and fresh compliments.

I hope that none of you reading this have discovered you are either with a loser or are one. If so, perhaps things can change. HA!

Why Do Smart Chicks Drink More?

A new study has found that a link between IQ and drinking that was "markedly stronger among women than among men". The study, which included 3,895 men and 4,148 women, assessed the associations between IQ scores obtained when the participants were 10 years old and their alcohol intake when they were about 30 years old. They found that for every 15-point increase in childhood IQ score, the likelihood of drinking problems increased 1.38 times for women, and 1.17 times for men.

So smart chicks drink more....but why? I sprung this question on Kitty during her show. She is a very smart women who enjoys a cocktail or two (but never to excess ;-) ). Who better to come up with some possible answers?

Sometimes people drink more because they are stressed. So are smarter girls more stressed out? Kitty says that she and other women “think about too many things at once.” They have “more brain activity” is her exact phrase than men. This theory would work if alcohol tended to shut down some of that activity, which I guess happens when excessive alcohol is ingested.

In my experience, however, having been fortunate enough to have attended several mostly all girl or “hen parties”, the alcohol tends to make the girls talk even more, and even louder. I think it follows logically then, that all that “brain activity” going on inside a women’s head would also get louder, and there would be even more of it under the influence, such that UNLESS a really loud “hen party” going on inside her head makes a girl relax, this theory doesn’t hold up.

Are women more susceptible to liquor and beer advertising? There is a lot of really sexy alcohol advertising in Vogue, In-Style, and other women’s magazines showing beautiful girls with perfect bodies, drink in hand, surrounded by hunky men. However, a look at men’s magazines and TV shows much more alcohol advertising aimed at them, with no shortage of busty babes literally draped all over their bodies. This is especially true on sports shows (which is all that men REALLY watch). So this theory doesn’t hold up either.

Are smart chicks more likely to get free cocktails at the bar? Smart women, it could be argued, might be better conversationists, which would possibly lead men to buy them a cocktail more often, which in turn would make them even more interesting. However, it could be argued that most men do not buy women a cocktail for their conversational ability, but instead for their looks. For this theory to work, a women’s brain power and her looks would have to be in sync, and we know that this is not always the case (witness the large number of blonde jokes). Another theory shot to hell.

Do smart chicks have more money to spend on drinking? This is very possible. Research has shown that smarter women do end up with better jobs. In fact, more women are graduating from college these days than men, and rightly so, women’s incomes are starting to approach men’s. With these higher paying jobs comes more stress and the need to alleviate said stress. Sometimes a few drinks can help there and cocktails, especially in bars, are very expensive these days.

All things considered this is a tough one to answer, and even the scientists who uncovered this drinking anomaly cannot explain it. I think the only way to figure it out is to design a study where these hard drinking smart chicks are monitored daily, such that lifestyle and behavioral patterns can be correlated with their drinking habits. I am sure that there are many men, scientists and laymen alike, who would volunteer to take part in such an interesting study....especially if the women would buy the drinks.

The Dude Colony

There are a whole lot of ants on the planet, forming 15–25% of the terrestrial animal biomass. (this is more biomass than all of the BBQ eaters in the American South). The colonies are sometimes described as superorganisms because the ants appear to operate as a unified entity, collectively working together to support the colony.

Now, scientists have discovered a single mega-colony of ants that has colonized much of the world. These “argentine” ants are living in vast numbers across Europe, the US and Japan and belong to the same colony...and contrary to the image of ant colonies waging war with each other, the members of this global ant race refuse to fight each other.

Welcome to the real “creeping socialism”.

One Big Ant Family

Researchers actually mixed different members of the colonies together in several experiments. These ants rubbed antennae with one another and never became aggressive or tried to avoid one another. In short, they acted as if they all belonged to the same colony, despite living on different continents separated by vast oceans. It would be like an American arriving in Japan, and already knowing everyone and the language.

According to the scientists, “The most plausible explanation is that ants from these super-colonies are indeed family, and are all genetically related. When they come into contact, they recognize each other by the chemical composition of their cuticles. Its kind of like they all like the same perfume.

In fact, ants communicate with each other using pheromones or smells. These chemical signals are very developed in ants, and they use the smells to transmit all sorts of messages. They mark trails, they send alarms, they even have “propaganda pheromones” to confuse enemy ants and make them fight among themselves. Something can disturb the ants on one side of the colony and the other side, miles away can get the message almost instantaneously.

This combination of propaganda and speed easily outdoes Fox News or CNN on any day.

In Europe, one vast colony of ants is thought to stretch for 3,700 miles along the Mediterranean coast, (“The Garlic Colony”) while another in the US, known as the “The Dude Colony” extends over 560 miles along the coast of California. A third huge colony exists on the west coast of Japan, “The Sushi Colony” and even in the US South, the now famous “Bubba Mound” is dominate. My favorite is the huge “Eurotrash” colony that stretches from Spain to Siberia.*

What’s so wonderful about these ants is that in contrast to the people from those regions who could not be more different, can barely understand each other’s language, and like to wage World Wars against each other, these ants when mixed together act like old friends.

All of these ants get along by acting collectively en masse, for the good of the whole. Many scientists believe these behaviors will enable ants to survive long after humans are gone. Many believe that ant behavior is analogous to “collectivist” societies like China that have colonized all of the WalMarts.

Most American’s, however have an aversion to this type of societal organization, preferring the rugged individualism taught by Ann Rand, pure market driven economies as explained by Adam Smith and the deification of wealth as demonstrated by Donald Trump.

Perhaps the best way for societies to survive is for individuals to behave somehow halfway between collectivism of “The Dude Colony” and the comb-overed extravagance of “The Apprentice”. BTW...I stayed at a Trump Casino one time and the service was great...the hired help swarmed all over the place like ants on candy...the candy of course being the rugged individualists hammering scotch and dropping coins into one arm bandits.

*Please note that I renamed these colonies such that the geographical significance of their location would be enhanced for the benefit of my readers.

The New Snake Oil Salesmen

Remember the snake oil salesmen from the old Western movies? They were sort of traveling "doctors" with dubious credentials, selling some elixir (such as snake oil) with ridiculous marketing claims often supported by pseudo scientific evidence which was typically bogus. To enhance sales, an accomplice in the crowd (a "shill") would often "attest" the value of the product in an effort to provoke buying enthusiasm. The "doctor" would typically leave town just before his customers realized that they had been cheated.

Well, as they say, a sucker is born every minute, and the new snake oil salesmen are taking advantage of this unfortunate fact of life by hawking acai berry based products to the unsuspecting hoards.

Claiming everything from weight loss, the smoothing of facial lines, increased energy, curing cancer and reversing baldness, to name a few, acai berry, according to these scammers, is the miracle substance of the 21st Century. According to one acai snake oil company, “it will help you live a longer, healthier and happier life”. (I think the makers of Valium make a similar claim).

They even claim to have Oprah and Dr. Oz as their supporters (these would be their high powered shills), but both of these celebrities have gone out of their way to disassociate themselves from any products containing acai berry, and their lawyers are in active pursuit of these companies.

First some basic science regarding the acai berry. Virtually every berry -- blueberry, strawberry, goji, acai -- are anti-inflammatory and high in antioxidants. (This is good). This particular one is exotic. It's found in Brazil. However, Acai is a very sensitive fruit that cannot be just shipped up from the Amazon without losing about 95% of its effective nutritional properties. And most drying/freezing methods also render the anti-oxidant value to well below other more commonly available fruits. You can buy acai products all over the United States, but almost none of them have the actual benefits of fresh, whole acai.

Even worse, many of the products claiming acai’s benefits are so called energy drinks that are pumped full of caffeine and sugar. One such product sold via a pyramid scheme has 15 grams of sugar (for rotting your teeth) and other man made vitamins that have not been proven to be beneficial...in fact recent studies show they could be harmful. A great deal for 4 bucks a can....

Imagine a network marketing operation powered by tens of thousands of highly caffeinated, sugar buzzed acai zealots occupying “virtually”, via Facebook, every street corner in America. Yee Haw! There’s gold in them there social networks!

If you really want powerful antioxidants and energy, why not a strong cup of coffee or a glass of tea, two totally natural and inexpensive drinks that are gaining a well researched reputation for healthfulness. The latest news on coffee is that regular use could reverse the impacts of Alzheimer's disease. The great news about tea is that it is actually healthier than water, and protects against heart disease and some cancers. And all this research is conducted by real professionals working for real universities in approved research environments.

Ironically, our susceptibility to snake oil salesmen and other marketers of sugary elixirs are helping fuel a rise in obesity and diabetes while denying people the benefits of more proven healthful drinks, which is the exact opposite of what they are promoting.

People are drinking less tea and coffee than before, and drinking more vile man made elixirs than ever. WTF!